State of the baby address

In honor of the State of the Union address tonight, I decided to do a quick update on the state of our little one.

She went to the pediatrician for her third regular doctor's appointment, and at 7 pounds, 14 ounces she is officially heavier than her birth weight (7lbs 8oz).  Her color is normal, her hips are strong and function well, her cord is all gone, and we are cleared for bottle feeding and tub baths.  The pediatrician said that she was healthy overall and that feeding must be going well for her to be gaining weight so fast.

At home she has started to sleep for three hours at a time at night, and about two during the day.  She doesn't quite enjoy tummy time yet, but can lift her head slightly when she is in that position. She can turn her head side to side, if only because the back of her head is still a little rounded and she can't quite rest on the back of her head for too long before tipping one way or the other.  She is still very, very wiggly, so we had a fun moment yesterday when she flailed on her playmat and made a toy spin a few times.  I'm not sure that she could see it, but I was proud that she made something happen :-).

She seems to remember "Rainbow Connection" but not "Goodnight, Moon," although she loves to be read or sung to, no matter what the subject matter.  She is a very cuddly baby and can sleep for hours and very deeply if she is snuggled on us or in lots of blankets.  I think it's a warmth thing since it's been so cold lately, so hopefully we will be able to keep her warm enough to sleep for long periods at night without risking SIDS in a couple of months.

Overall, she is the most wonderful little girl that we could have asked for.  She makes hilarious faces, smells amazing, and feeds like a champ.  She's pretty much perfect!

We love our serious little girl!

Parenting with the training wheels on

Because I had a c-section, we got to stay in the hospital for an extended period of time.  I won't write about all the bloody details, but I definitely wanted to take a minute to document what the hospital experience was like, in case any one is curious about the recovery process for a c-section instead of a natural delivery.

As I mentioned, Willa was born early in the morning.  Immediately after the procedure, she spent time in the nursery with Jeremy while I was stitched up.  Our hospital had the awesome policy that she would never be anywhere without us, so Jeremy spent most of the morning getting to know her there since I was a little indisposed.

After the doctor was done with me they wheeled me into the recovery room, which was a large room with lots of little curtain-lined nooks for people to recover from surgery.  It would have been awkward if there had been anyone else in there, but again, it was a slow morning and I was all alone.  The recovery nurse didn't have the warmest bedside manner, and I was impatient to get out of there, so she was impatient with me.  I think I was in there for about 20 minutes before Jeremy came in with Willa and I finally got to hear her stats.  The recovery nurse was a little rough-handed in teaching me to breastfeed, but to her credit, Willa latched right away and I was able to keep her there.  I learned the football and the cradle hold, which are still my two most used holds.  She told me that we could leave recovery once I could bend my legs on my own, which took a frustratingly long time.  It was definitely a weird feeling to not be able to get your legs to do what the brain is telling them to do.  After about an hour and a half I finally did it and they wheeled Willa back to the nursery while they wheeled me to my room (Jeremy stayed with her again).

I was only allowed to eat/drink clear liquids because of the surgery's potential effects on my digestive system, so I had a less than satisfying lunch of broth, juice, and jello (keep in mind I hadn't eaten since 10:30 the night before, which I remember because they must have asked me that 20 times before surgery).  My GI system played nice and I didn't throw up, so they released me to eat a regular dinner (thank goodness!).  I shudder to think of my reaction if it hadn't.  At this time I still had multiple attachments including an IV, pulse monitor on my toe, compression cuffs on my calves, and cathetar.  All while having to keep up with a hungry newborn.  Thank goodness for Jeremy, who did every part of the parenting, other than breastfeeding, for the first two days while I was hooked up like that.  What they also don't make public is the fact that the post-partum body has to flush out the heavy uterine lining that built up and sustained the pregnancy, so I was literally diapered for the whole time I was recovering.  Because I was less than agile, I had to be changed by the nurse, which was a little embarrassing, although necessary.  It's safe to say that I was pretty miserable for the first two days because of all of this.

Nights were odd because the night nurse insisted on having three lights in the ceiling on at all times, which made it hard to sleep.  There was also a parade of people coming in every two hours to check my pulse and BP, give me pain meds, get updates on Willa's meals and diapers, and just to clean the room, clear the food trays, or introduce any new nurse that would be taking our case over at shift change or when they reconfigured the staff to keep up with busy times.  Add to that the fact that Jeremy had to sleep on the world's least comfortable sleep surface, and neither of us had a good time those two nights we were in the hospital.  Suffice to say that I was eager to go home.

Luckily for me, both Willa and I did very well in the healing process.  After the morphine wore off from the original procedure, I only needed Motrin to keep the pain at bay.  The only exception was during the second night when I was trying to sit up, turn to the side, and lift Willa up and down.  I definitely pushed myself too far and I had to take a Percoset to sleep.  I also had an intense shoulder cramp (felt like a charlie horse) that I heard was common because of gas bubbles that get into the body during surgery.  Weird, but so painful I couldn't use my right arm to help myself up, and I decided to go for the heavy stuff to help myself function.  Willa passed all of her tests with flying colors and she stayed with us the whole time so we got lots of practice taking care of her.  All this meant that the doctors and nurses declared us ready to go home a day early if we wanted (which we so did!).

I feel that I should mention that the whole stay wasn't all bad.  We had a private room, which was lovely, and they continued to help me breastfeed so that we had a good start together.  We also had a few visitors, which was very much appreciated.  Audrey and Drew, being recent first time parents as well, brought a huge bag of supplies to help me in the first few days.  Everything from personal care products to tasty snacks to promote lactation, and even a thank you gift for the nurses.  Nikki and Curt brought Steak and Shake milkshakes (sooo delicious!) and spent lots of good time hanging out with us and reminding me of my existence outside of new motherhood.  So lucky are we to have such awesome friends :-).

So that was our hospital stay in a nutshell.  Overall I highly recommend Women's Hospital, but I definitely advocate being more vocal about turning the lights off, and maybe bringing a sleeping bag for the partner to sleep on!!

Surprise, surprise

Yeah, we didn't make it another ten days.  In fact, I didn't make it another ten hours after that last post before the Bun decided it was high time to make her way into the world!

On Friday, January 10 I had one last client before the weekend, and a brief meeting with a colleague to start transferring four clients to her during my maternity leave.  All during that day I was feeling more pressure in my pelvis, which I attributed to a heavier baby, and was experiencing my bloody show, which I read could be caused by a cervical exam in the previous 48 hours (which I had).  I figured that since the doctor told me I wasn't dilated or effaced at all, I would be overinterpreting pre-labor symptoms to call the doctor now.  During the brief meeting with a colleague, I started noticing cramping that got a little tighter and more painful a couple of times, so I started to note the time in case they started being regular.  They weren't.  So I decided it must be Braxton Hicks, which can be brought on by a wiggly baby (which we all know the Bun is) or, again, a cervical exam.  I decided to keep my eye on the clock just in case, and ALMOST didn't mention them to Jeremy so that I wouldn't get him all excited for no reason (I was still dead sure this was a false alarm).  But I did, just to be safe.  His eyes got very wide and a little concerned, so I immediately swooped in with all the reasons why this was a false alarm.  The pains were only in the front, they weren't that intense or regular at all, and they seemed to get better when I moved around.  We watched a movie, I kept track on my phone just in case, then I took a bath (which made them stop for a half hour) and went to bed.  Just in case it was real, I made sure to pack a bag for Roxy, finish packing my stuff, and shaved my legs, which I meant to do as part of a full spa treatment to get ready for the hospital, but was the only thing I had time for before bed.  I figured I would sleep the Braxton Hicks away, and would be able to do a load of laundry, finish packing up Christmas decorations, and run to the post office the next day.  Surely, this was a false alarm.

Cut to 3:30 am.  The pains, while not that painful, woke me up.  I kept recording them and continued to tell myself that there was still a chance it was a false alarm.  They started to get more regular and close together, but I told myself that labor is more painful than cramps, so the baby probably wasn't coming.  At some point I decided that 5 am was a nice, round number that wasn't in the middle of the night, so I would wake Jeremy then if the pains persisted.  They did.  So at 5 I woke him up, he popped up and took a shower, and while I took a shower (just in case it was my last chance for a while) he finished packing his bag.  I called the midwife, explained that the Bun was still head up and that I promised to come in at the first sign of labor, and she told me to come in, although I didn't need to rush.  We were out the door in 10 minutes, bags in hand, and snapped one last belly pic in the mudroom.  My face in the picture is truly hilarious.

It's like a combination of "oh boy!" and "oh crap!"

At the hospital there were no other awake people in the waiting room, so we were admitted right away.  They had me change into a gown, which I thought was silly because surely, they would examine me and find that I wasn't dilated and send me right home with a disdainful head shake for the hypochondriac first time mom.  Yeah, I was 2.5 centimeters dilated.  The midwife said with a little smile and flick of her stethoscope, "looks like we're having a baby today!"

I think time stopped for me in this moment.  What?  No.  I don't think you understand, I have work to do.  I have clients I'm scheduled to see Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  I need to go to the post office today, I don't have time!  We have an appointment on the 20th, that works for me.  I've wrapped my head around being a parent on that day.  I don't think my brain can process the enormity of being a parent in a few hours.  But, as all parents will tell me and anyone else who will listen, everything else takes a back seat when we're talking about kids.  Especially the labor part.  It happens when it happens.  I mean, I knew this could happen.  I was even hoping for it by scheduling the c-section so late, just in case the labor would make the Bun turn.  But no, after one last ultrasound confirmed it, the Bun's buns were firmly down.  Not moving, thankyouverymuch.

Because it was such a slow morning, the time between me coming into the hospital and her coming into the world was only three hours.  As luck would have it the doctor who performed the surgery was one of the two I would not have chosen, and the midwife attending was someone I never met (despite the rotating cast of characters I saw throughout my pregnancy), but everything went smoothly.  During the whole prep process I kept looking at Jeremy and trying to ground myself in the moment with statements like, "this is really happening!" and "we're going to be parents very soon!"  He was solid as a rock and very excited, I don't think he was looking forward to nine more days of waiting, and now he didn't have to any more.  I was very anxious about the procedure and the imminence of her arrival, so he held my hand and said comforting things, and made sure to keep eye contact with me to keep me in the moment.  They gave me the play by play as they made their way down to her, and told me as every body part made it's way into the world.  The buns came first, then that must have startled her because she tried to swim away and getting her into the world became as much of a struggle as measuring her heart via Doppler used to be!  I remember being jostled from side to side a lot as doctor and midwife worked to squish her little body through the incision.  As one last statement of what she thought of the doctor, she let go of her bowels and bladder all over her right before her head was in the world.  Such a sassy little girl already!  My heart stopped when they said that she was here and I didn't here that immediate cry, but it came and they took her to the warmer to assess her.  They asked her name and I said it out loud for the first time, Willa Kate Fowler.  Our little girl.  Jeremy got to see her and to talk to her first while they finished me up, then I got a couple of minutes with her on my chest, although I struggled to hold her or to see her due to all of the machines I was attached to and the odd angle of my head, trying to look at my upper chest.  She stayed fussy and wiggly, then they took her to the nursery with Jeremy to check her out.

After 45 interminable minutes putting back together what they had just cut apart, I got to be in recovery with my baby.  They taught me to breastfeed, which came rather quickly to both of us, and I got all her stats.  Totally average length and weight, 7 pounds, 8 ounces, 19.75 inches long, and Jeremy told me that our daughter was already very wiggly, needing to be swaddled in order to sleep because of her tendency to flail.  Yup, that sounds like the Bun!  The nurse told me that Jeremy was a natural at swaddling, and I was very proud of his fathering.  He got to do most of the heavy parenting those days in the hospital, and he did a wonderful job.

I'll blog about the hospital experience in a later post since this one is already so long, but there is our birth story.  In a nutshell, it was fast, unexpected, and totally dictated by Willa, which is what I wanted.  We are both doing well, I'm healing fast, and we have gotten to spend the last two weeks hibernating and figuring each other out.  Here's to the start of an amazing journey!

Feeling like a fat guy peeling an orange

Heavy and sweaty that is.  One pregnancy symptom that I have not escaped is being very and grossly sweaty, especially at night.  I felt so bad for Jeremy during our yoga birthing class, that he had to hold my hands for stability during partner's yoga, because he would slip and then have to wipe his hands on his shirt.  Yuck.  Also, I may be the only person in America who sweat through the night during the Arctic temperatures.  Between the sweat and the newfound difficulty turning over, sleep has gotten noticeably less fun!

Today I also started feeling how heavy she is, and struggling with balance a little more during yoga class (I totally wiped out on my butt trying to go from squatting to sitting.  So graceful.)  She feels a little lower today too, so I'm glad we have on date on the books because this little lady is starting to get ready to come out!

Hope we can make it another ten days!

Staying frank

I had my 38 week appointment today, and no surprise, she is still in the same position as always.  This week she pulled her left foot back up from it's previously curled position, so she is in full Greg Louganis diver pose.  She is getting pretty tight in there, so tight that they weren't able to capture any 3D images of her face (apparently they need a certain amount of fluid in front of the face with no obstructions), but my fluid level is still normal (normal at this stage is 5 and I'm holding steady at 10).  Heartrate was the same (135), my weight and belly are right on track, and I am showing no signs of dilation or effacing at all.  All this means that she is snug in there and most likely going to make it to the 20th.  I have one more appointment for an ultrasound next Thursday to be sure she hasn't turned, which should be the last one before the delivery.

So excited!  11 days to go!

Scheduling the big day

So, folks, there is a date in the books for the Bun to arrive.  The big day will be Monday, January 20th at 2 pm.  This is assuming a few things, first that she doesn't turn on her own before then, in which case we just wait for me to go into labor.  The second is (of course) that I don't go into labor before that time, in which case they perform the c-section if she still hasn't dropped.  But no matter what, I will be a mother by the 20th.  Wow!

In scheduling this time I had to use my strong negotiation skills.  I prefer two of the five doctors that work at my ob/gyn practice, and they only schedule c-sections for Mondays and Tuesdays.  It's also the policy at my practice to schedule in the week before the due date to minimize the risk of going into labor.  Since my week turns over on Saturdays, the combination of these two policies had them scheduling to deliver her almost a full week early.  I was very uncomfortable with this.  Everything I've read says that the more time they get in utero, the better, and that a baby can turn at the very last minute, even when labor initially starts.  Add to this the fact that even if I do go into labor, we live less than a mile from the hospital (a 3 minute drive), and all of the doctors and midwives agreed that since I have had such a calm pregnancy there is minimal risk of problems with me going into labor in her current position.  In the end I was able to get a c-section date for two days after my due date.  It felt good to take a position on something, advocate for myself, and to be heard!

So mark your calendars, dear readers.  You will know her name on or before the 20th!

Dressing the bump, Part 3

Since I did a post way back in August about how I first covered, then celebrated the bump, I figured I should do a follow up post about how I am handling it now that it is pretty substantial.  Before I got pregnant, I always envisioned that by the time I was this big I would be rocking empire waisted jersey dresses and maxi skirts, but alas, the epic temperatures of late have necessitated much more significant layering.  So it has been a bit of a challenge and my look tends to be rather one note lately, but I feel like that one note is pretty solid, so there's that.  I took a picture of my daily outfit over the past few days to show how this overly tall/massively pregnant girl has been covering herself and keeping the cold at bay.

First up, a work outfit.  This sweater is non-maternity and one of the few that I wore last year that I have been able to repurpose.  This is because it used to end around my thighs as a loose, dolman sleeve piece that I love.  However now, it just baaaarely fits over the bump.  The pants are a maternity pair that I bought new from Old Navy for $10 on a massive online sale right before Thanksgiving.  They are a different brownish/khaki color that is hard to work with, so I don't know that I would buy regular pants in this color, but for that price on new pants cut long I couldn't pass it up.  To cover the wide waist band at the top (since the sweater couldn't) I'm wearing a maternity black camisole.  It's fairly ubiquitous in my outfits these days, as you'll see in later shots.  I added a super cute pashmina that Ashley gave me for Christmas as a balance to the bump, and am wearing knee high brown boots below where you can see.  I think it's safe to say I wear these brown boots about 80% of the time since they zip up the side, which allows me to take them on and off independently (hussah!).

Next is what I wore to the second day of the yoga birth workshop.  The top and yoga pants are both maternity and both were acquired second hand.  The pants are actually "a pea in the pod" brand and nice enough that I wore them with a long maternity top to work a couple of times before the belly got too big for the top to cover the waistband.  They are insanely comfortable and definitely my favorite item.  One thing I'd like to point out about this picture is the fact that this is a maternity top, yet it is not long enough to cover me without the black camisole underneath.  This necessitates the following series of outfits...

AKA, wearing sweater dresses as a sweater.  In all of the shots below, my top is meant to be a dress on normal people.  In the first one, it is a small Old Navy long sleeve T-shirt dress, yet it only just covers the full maternity paneled jeans I'm wearing.  I tried to balance the bump with a flowy cardigan that I used to be able to belt.  To be fair, I still could, but it looks all stretched and crazy when I do that now, so I just left it open.  I added a long necklace to try to break up all the monotonous neutrality.

In this one, I am wearing a dark green sweater dress from TJ Maxx that I bought new, thinking I can still wear it post-baby.  I actually bought it with the intention of wearing it as a holiday sweater, as it had the right color and an interesting side detail (hard to see in this picture, but it's a little dark brown belt buckle looking thing right at empire waist level).  Again I'm wearing it over jeans, one of the two pairs I originally had that still fit me.  They are one of two pairs of long jeans that I miraculously found at Goodwill; the other, sadly, no longer fits over my hips and slid down quite often.  I'm again wearing the brown boots with this outfit.

Finally, today I am wearing a sweater dress purchased and worn last year.  This was my Thanksgiving sweater this year because it is a nice maroon color.  I added the skinny silver belt as a "pregnancy indicator" belt to break up the long stretch of maroon.  I wore one of these pretty often in the second and early third trimester to distinguish my belly and to declare "I'm pregnant, not in love with donuts!!"  The pants are my warmest pants, actually a pre-pregnancy pair, necessitated by the super freezing day.  They are completely, utterly unzipped and stretched to the limit in the front, but I'm wearing them over maternity tights, which has helped to keep them up.  Luckily, since it's a sweater dress, it's long enough to cover the whole mess.  A long sleeve, black maternity shirt bought second-hand is keeping my skin safe from the scratchy wool.

So that's a sampling of the outfits that I have been wearing lately.  As the weeks have progressed my selection has decreased, but I have a few items that have sustained me.

1) Two pairs of maternity jeans, each bought at Goodwill, one long, one not, for $5 each

2) Three maternity tank tops, two bought new at Old Navy for $8 each, one on loan from Sandi for $0

3) Four wrap dresses bought and worn pre-pregnancy that I throw over leggings for church

4) Three pairs of non-maternity leggings that are fitting less and less well, bought on nomorerack.com for $17 for all three

5) Four previously owned skinny belts of varying color/pattern to modify boring tops and to give me shape

6) Five sweater dresses that should be wearable after baby, ranging in price from $16 to $30, bought at TJ Maxx and the Banana Republic Outlet

7) One pair of brownish/khaki long maternity pants bought from Old Navy for $10

Mix and match those, and you can get an idea of how a tall girl with a giant belly has been getting by in this cold, cold weather.  Luckily I have been able to wear my same coats from last year by just leaving the last button unbuttoned.  I have had to stop wearing my water-resistant, fleece-lined coat because it zips up, but Jeremy has been sharing his with me, which does still zip up.  Since I only have at most two weeks left, I'm feeling like this will be my story until the end.

I hope this helps anyone else trying to figure out how to be tall, pregnant, and dressed, all at the same time!

Nurturing the Pregnant Couple Workshop

Over the weekend Jeremy and I took a two day workshop taught by one of my regular yoga teachers focused on relaxation and body work for labor, delivery, and beyond.  I was excited about taking this class since my yoga teacher told me about it back in October (just in time for me to be too late for the Fall one), and hoped that I would still be pregnant by the time January 4th rolled around.  Luckily for me, I was (and still am), so we got to enjoy two days of learning beyond what was taught in the hospital based Birth and Baby class.

We're in the back, right in the middle

Day 1 started with some partner's yoga, pretty much my regular class but with the added bonus of Jeremy doing it next to me.  Then we had some time to learn about various labor/birth facts, all of which was review for us and a little boring.  The class ended with an extended lesson for Jeremy on how to massage me (totally the best part of class!) and he did very well.  I think the overall point was to help us connect and for Jeremy to know how to help my body feel better during labor. We also learned about "Rebozo" techniques, which was basically a series of movements using a large scarf in various ways to stretch, relax, and massage me.

Day 2 started with some light yoga again (Jeremy and I did very well, by the way, one of the only couple capable of some of the twistier stretches.  High fives all around.)  Then I got to learn how to massage Jeremy (which he said he enjoyed) to stay with the theme of connecting with our partner.  Then we had more lecture time before actually practicing pushing positions.  It was crazy to get down and pretend to push, curling my body around and feeling the resistance of her little pokey head as it jammed in my ribs.  Very surreal!  It was also interesting to hear all the guttural noises one can make while in such a position, and I can definitely understand why delivery rooms tend to be so noisy!  The class ended with some newborn massage, which I think was my favorite part of the day.  I touched my belly every so often, feeling her various bumps and envisioning what it would be like to actually massage her when she was cranky/overstimulated/gassy.  It is really so amazing to think about how close we are to being with her for real, seeing her face and reading her little signals.

Something for me

I took a little time yesterday to whip up a quick and super useful item for me to have post-pregnancy; nursing tank tops.  Not the most glamorous item, but something that would allow me to wear any of my normal tops, still nurse, and not have to expose my belly to the world.  I first got the idea from a friend, who sent me an online tutorial as a guide.  Basically, one just buys super cheap regular camisoles from anywhere that sells them (in my case, I got three in a buy one, get two free sale at Ann Taylor Loft) and sew the straps in a certain kind of way to make them hook over the straps in a nursing bra.  Then, one just has to take down both the bra and the tank straps to nurse, allowing you to push up your regular shirt.  So easy!  I have three photos below and a little tutorial of my own for anyone that is interested:

I started by clipping the little plastic ring that makes the straps adjustable, which allowed me to cut the strap without leaving a little itchy tab in the back to drive me crazy.

The only part left in the back is a little loop that came on the shirt, no itch at all!

Then I made a little loop big enough to slip over the nursing bra clip with the long part of the strap in the front of the shirt.  I measured it by wearing the top over my nursing bra and just pinning it where it felt comfortable.  I then cut most of the strap off, leaving just the loop and a teensy bit extra to attach to the shirt.  I then just used a needle and thread to sew the loop to the shirt, since it was too small a job for my sewing machine.

Basically it ends up looking like a strapless tank with two tiny loops on top

Then, to save time in making the other tops, I just used the part of the strap I cut from the other tank to measure on the next one, and repeated the process.  You can see in the picture below how much I cut, which was about 75% of the whole strap.

Anywhere I can save time/effort, I do!

So that was it.  I think I spent a total of a half hour on all three.  The most time consuming part was the actual sewing, since the rest was just a series of cuts.  I'm excited to try them out, since right now they definitely don't fit over the tum.  If they work, I just may have to whip out a few more!

Just call her "Frankie"

So far, this little lady is staying frank breech.  We had an ultrasound on Tuesday to check her position, and even though I was hopeful that I was wrong, I could tell that she was in the same orientation as usual.  Her little head is snugged right up against my ribs and not moving anywhere thank-you-very-much.  The tech was able to tell us that her right leg is up near her face, but that her left leg is curled under her, which would explain why I was feeling kicks in a new area, and was a little hopeful that she shifted.  It means that her overall orientation is fairly splayed out, and to me seems a little hard to completely do a 180, but I choose to remain hopeful.  I will continue to play music low on my belly, do lots of helpful yoga poses, and show her the "swim down" clip from Finding Nemo, just in case!  I will also be optimistic enough to take a yoga birthing class on Saturday, just in case she turns.

At this appointment they also did a weight check for the first time, and the Bun is weighing in at a respectable 6 lbs, 15 ounces.  The sonographer projected that she would be 8 lbs by the end, which is right where Jeremy and I both were, so it makes sense.  She kept her face shielded behind her hands during the sonogram, so we don't have any good shots to share this time, but she is still small and precious :-).

The doctor requested another ultrasound to check position on January 9, and they will call me to schedule a C-section for sometime in the week of January 13-17 in the next few days.  I'm hoping I can make it for the 17th to give her as much time as possible to turn, so keep your fingers crossed!