Catching some smiles

Today is the last official day of my maternity leave.  Where did the time go?  I went into work yesterday to get clients scheduled (and to do some paperwork I meant to do after the 11th in the week I thought I would be able to work) and it felt great to be back!  It was nice to see my coworkers, startling to note how much can change in 6 weeks, and a relief to have adult conversations in the daytime.  I really am excited to get back into things.

However, as is inevitable, I did miss Willa (the babysitter came to meet her and we did a quick trial run, so I was able to go into the office for an hour).  With that in mind, I made two videos today to watch if I get lonely for her at work.  Hope you like them!

The first one was shot during her most wakeful, happy time in the morning.  I put her on a quilt and played her favorite Pandora station, then let the camera roll.  At one point Roxy came in, a little lonesome and jealous of the attention Willa was getting, I think.  She got pretty in-our-faces :-).

The second one was shot after lunch, before her afternoon nap when she can also be pretty chatty.  I tried to get her to smile by doing various things with my face, like sticking out my tongue, making silly noises, and smiling.  She smiled a little, but mostly furrowed her brow at her crazy mom.  So fun!

I'm sure I will watch these on many long afternoons at office, hope you enjoy them too!

One month old

Well, we survived!

As previously written after taking baby care classes, I was not afraid of labor and delivery, but rather the first month of Willa's life.  Everything seemed so daunting, how demanding motherhood is, how little sleep to expect, the limited ways that anyone would be able to help me, and the multitude of new skills that I would have to learn/master in order to keep someone alive.  But we did it.  She's still alive, doing well, and sleeping in my Ergo carrier (thanks, Erin!) as I write this.  Thank goodness.

In the last post I commented on how our sleep has been affected.  Since then things have stayed the same, with Willa's personal best for a stretch of sleep extending to 6 hours (midnight to 6am), although that was a one time event (but a glorious one!!).  What was funny was that I was actually more tired that morning than on a morning after two night feedings, since I think my brain was tricked into thinking it would get a full night's sleep.  She naps pretty well during the day, although I have had to keep her in the carrier instead of the crib most often.  No problems/complaints about that so far, I love to snuggle her, but I hope it doesn't become an issue later.

She continues to be a great feeder, and has taken to the bottle, no problem.  I don't think it affected her latch at all, but it seems to have made her a little more impatient with me and my flow, since the bottle flows so much faster.  She has also started to feed for longer periods, an average of 45 minutes instead of 20-30.  During her growth spurt her longest period was an hour and a half, which was exhausting.  Emotionally I worried that I wasn't making enough for her and was feeling guilty, but I know that she is getting what she needs.  She just needs more as she grows, and I'm thankful that she is getting so big.

Jeremy is awesome with baby care, I have to say.  He has been so helpful with bottle feeding, changing her before feedings, burping her after, and is quite good at getting her to sleep.  I love to watch them together, especially when she reaches her little hand up to touch his goatee when he holds her.  It's like her little way of knowing that it's him and feeling connected to him, and it makes me melt every time!

She can raise her little head up during tummy time, and is consistently able to flail her little arms and legs when she's on her side to make a toy chime.  I think she might be starting to watch our faces and try to smile, although I don't think we've had her official first smile yet.  She is able to work the facial muscles to smile in her sleep, which is so fun to watch, but when we make eye contact and smile she more often furrows her brow as if to say, "why are you smiling like an idiot?  My parents are NUTS."  Hopefully we can make her smile for real soon.  I will brush up on my improv comedy skills in the meantime :-).

Now the focus is on making the transition after maternity leave is over in two weeks.   I've been trying to build up our food stores for her, and we'll meet with the two caregivers in the next week to make sure that they are up for the task of Willa care.  Mentally I am very ready to go back, if only to see the world outside of these four walls.  I also miss conversations with my coworkers, and am wondering about my various clients.  I hope that I'm as successful in being a working mom as I have been in being a home-based mom!

The Sleep Habits of Modern New Parents

In preparing to be parents, I knew to expect very little, if any sleep.  In the first two days in the hospital this was painfully true, but as previously stated, I blame the hospital staff and my medical needs for that more than her.  She was also cluster feeding on the second and third days of life, which meant that she wanted to eat every hour or so, so I had to try to keep up with that while learning how to breastfeed at all.  But after we got home, I found that it wasn't so bad.

Let me clarify: she does get up every 2 or 3 hours to feed, but since we are only in bed for 8 hours, if I feed her right before sleep, we are only waking up twice a night.  She also only eats for about 20-30 minutes, so I can go back to sleep relatively quickly after eating, and I am not losing too much sleep.  I was shocked on the first morning we were home to find that I didn't feel exhausted.  After three weeks with her, there are really only two days when I did feel absolutely trashed, but it's because she was fussy throughout the night for one reason or the other (I'm certainly never eating spicy red beans and rice ever again!).  I don't know what it is about the human brain that adjusts to the wacky new schedule, but so far I have been able to function without a nap more days than not as well.  I hope this feeling lasts!

Not to jinx it (although this almost certainly will), Willa is a pretty good sleeper too.  She is usually able to get to sleep on her own in her bed, although she prefers to be hugged and cuddled.  She can also stay asleep for a couple of hours in her crib for naps during the day, during which I can be fairly productive.  Just today I was able to accomplish all three goals I set for myself during this nap time (iron three shirts, work on getting ink stains out of a dress, wash bed linens Willa barfed on), to the point that I was able to address all 30 baby announcements, stuff envelopes, and write this blog post as bonus accomplishments today.  It felt great toget so much done!

Right now we are starting another growth spurt, which means a resurgence of cluster feeding.  She has been able to sleep for four hours at a stretch exactly twice, and I'm hoping to revisit this once this growth spurt is over.  For now I'm thankful to still be on maternity leave so that I can sleep in in the mornings and put off housework until the afternoons.  I'm also eternally grateful to have had my dad here for a week and my mom here for the past two.  Friday will be my first time flying solo during the day, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we can get through it alright.   I'm sure we will, I'll just have to relax my drive to do housework and run errands, since I won't have a spare pair of hands to take her for me.  I now definitely understand why the Obamas had Michelle's mom move into the White House with them.  Extra help FTW!