Second breastfeeding class experience

Oh man, that one was much better.  The main subject material was pumping, using bottles, and going back to work, and the teacher was a different person.  She also seemed to have a much different attitude and was more open and flexible.  Jeremy also went with me, which helped me to moderate my reactions.  I also felt a little proud that I already knew some of the stuff she shared since I have been communicating to friends about pumping (y'know, what most people talk about, right?), and then a little abashed when I wasn't sure how the actual machine worked or fit together.  Oh well, I guess that balances nicely.

Overall I left feeling much better than I did after the other one, and even made a couple of introductions to people I may see in the breastfeeding support group post-baby.

I may actually be able to do this!

First birthing class experience

Last Tuesday started our five week course of Birth and Baby classes through the hospital where I will deliver.  I had a little bit of apprehension about going after my negative experience with the breastfeeding class, but I decided to be hopeful since 1) Jeremy would be going with me and 2) my boss is in a Bible study group with the teacher, and she said that she's a lovely person, so I wouldn't need to worry.  So, I grabbed our pillows, dressed in clothes that were both comfy and appropriate for work (since I would have to take off immediately after work to make it on time), and hoped for the best.

I am happy to say that things went well!  The teacher was very nice and informative, and didn't scare me with anything she had to say.  Actually, I felt a little like the nerdy couple since we already knew a lot of the information that she had to share and answered questions that she asked about 60% of the time. (But seriously, who doesn't know that we dilate to 10 cm, or that labor can take many, many hours?!)  Thanks to one episode of the Office, I even knew that you shouldn't go to the hospital right away, only once the contractions are 4-5 minutes apart, and that water breaking doesn't have to be a dramatic gush.  Thanks to my mom friends, I also knew that they won't often accept you into Labor and Delivery until you are 5 cm dilated (especially on busy nights) and that they are super strict with security at our particular hospital.  Overall, because I wasn't learning too much new stuff, I left the class feeling confident instead of angry and scared.

Something else worth noting, I'm not as scared of labor and delivery as I am of parenting in the first month or so.  My mom and her friends have scoffed at this, but I think it's valid.  Labor and delivery, regardless of how painful/scary in the moment/surgically involved has a beginning time and an end time.  I will most likely be in the hospital, surrounded by staff and machines who see this sort of thing every day (barring some crazy we-delivered-on-the-way thing, but since we live less than a mile from the hospital, that's highly doubtful, ::knockonwood::).  Even if I forget everything I learn in birthing class, at some point she will come out of me.  If things aren't working out, they will go in and get her.  And then it will be over and I won't have to worry about delivering her ever again.

But parenting in that first month?  I'm exhausted just thinking about it.  Transitions are always tricky, and this will be the biggest one of my life, now and forevermore.  Everything I know about life will change.  Forever.  And there is no point where this will be over and I can go back to things the way they were.  And I won't have professionals around me at all times in case things go wrong, it's all Jeremy and I.  Yes, I can have help here and there, but most of the time it'll be just us.  Trying like crazy to keep her alive and well and developing normally.  I know we'll be able to do it, but it'll be a lot of work and a lot of intimidating changes to make.  I know it'll all be worth it, but boy, does it scare me way more than labor!!

Sentimental art

In two of the baby showers I hosted, I facilitated an art activity in which all of the guests painted something wooden to be attached to a canvas for nursery art.  For Erin we did crabs on a chevron background, and for Sandi we did the alphabet and a little dino.

I loved both the process and the result, but struggled about the actual figure to be painted.  There's no real theme in the room, just sort of a motif maybe, so my first thought was a simple shape.  I tried to find triangles in the hopes of gluing them on the canvas like flag garland, but sadly I couldn't find any the right size in a reasonable price range.  What I did find were circles, some very large, others in a pack of a variety of small sizes.  I was thinking I could do a sort of Chinese paper lantern design at the end, so I went ahead and pulled the trigger.

At my Florida shower, I had my aunts, cousin, mom, mother-in-law, Jeremy, and myself paint some the night before the shower when we all had time together.  People were reluctant at first, but once the creative juices were flowing, there was no stopping us!  I originally bought enough for everyone at both showers to do one, but people were having so much fun being creative that I figured I could just buy more circles later and choose one per person.

Here are a couple done at that shower, the fox by my mom, the orange and blue by Jeremy, the small rose by Jeremy's mom, and the rainbow by me

At our North Carolina shower I introduced the activity after most of the guests had left, but all of my closest were still there since they were all staying with us (except Erin, she was sent home with homework!).  Again with the amazing creativity, a few people chose to do a couple of them, Julian decided to go 3D, and Sandi whipped up a couple that can only be described as amazing, including Sailor Moon and a replica of the cat quilt I made her years ago!

Even Lark got in on the fun, proudly painting no less than five circles (I made five, Aunt Bee!!), and she was no doubt inspired by her talented parents.  Sahil, of course, did three Star Wars characters, and Katie made us a forest scene featuring a sweet little fox.  Even her initials are in the tree trunk, can you stand it?!

In the end I decided to get a bigger canvas so that I could incorporate as many of the circles as possible, and abandoned the Chinese Lantern pattern idea for the layout.  I just arranged them according to color and size, although I did try to group by family a little.  I labeled all of them with names or titles, writing "Mom" by mine, "Dad" by Jeremy's, "Aunt Katie" by Katie's, etc (which, let me tell you, was nutty!  I think that may be the first time I officially referred to us by those names, but anyway).  

Here it is, in all it's lovely beauty!!

I will add Erin's to the lower right corner whenever she gets it to me, but I know with two little ones there is no rush :-).  Right now it is hanging to the left of the crib above what will be her little reading nook, once we get the bookshelves up and the pouf in that spot.

Special thanks to everyone that contributed!  

Lookin' good, Monsieur Fox!

My mom was gracious enough to come last week, not only for the baby shower, but for a full week to knock out this bad boy.  She has been a mural artist for years, painting everything from a giant Bucs mural in our local mall back in the 70s to my own nursery, in which she painted several scenes from Bambi.  When I told her I was pregnant, the first reaction was, "what do you want the mural to be?"  This is how generous of an artist she is :-).

The design itself is not original, but based on the July 2013 teapot from Crate and Barrel designed by Andrew Bannecker.  I couldn't quite afford the $300 price tag, but I could certainly commission a replica!

Our walls were already blue, so bonus!!

After a lot of tinkering, we settled on a simple oval design around his portrait.  We tried to figure out how to incorporate some flag garland, but the scale and sizing never quite came together in a satisfactory way.  No worries, simplicity works for this design!

After day one, it looked like this:

Hard to see it, but it was just the rough pencil sketch of the design.  She worked so hard, all day, to make sure that everything was laid out well and the right scale for the room.

After day two, we arrived here:

Six, yes SIX coats of white paint were needed to cover the blue.  Notice the thoughtful addition of a layer of ivory on the fox's face to make it different from the brilliant white of the star, and to make it a more of a white that would occur in nature.

After day three, she was nearly there:

We went to the craft store to ensure the perfect red and orange and she spent the rest of the day painting like crazy to accomplish as much as possible (she was leaving the evening of day four).

And finally, halfway through day four, he was here!

I think the eyes are my favorite part

Monsieur Fox, looking dapper and dreamy, watching over her crib with lidded eyes, which conveniently avoids any creepy feelings of being watched.  I love how it ties the colors, patterns, and characters in the room into one cohesive focal point.  I truly couldn't be any happier with the way he turned out!  Again, I have to be mindful of how lucky I am to have this woman in my life, as my mother.  It certainly gives me hope about my own chances of successfully raising a daughter.

Thanks, Mom!!!!!

7 month state of the pregnancy address

Well, hello, home stretch!

So very round!!

So, how is this pregnancy treating me?  So far, so good.  I find myself getting tired faster and having flashbacks to the first trimester when climbing our stairs was a real decision about whether or not what was on the second floor was worth the effort.  My back hurts more often from the strain, and I now have to get my kids to pick up anything on the ground in my office.  I also have to limit the time I spend bending over the little table in my office to play games, much to their dismay.  I think it must be the 30 pound weight gain!

Other than that I'm still feeling pretty normal.  No swelling yet, no weird cravings (although I could still eat Mexican food every day without complaint), no trouble sleeping, no crazy mood swings.

The Bun is kicking up a storm every day, and I love to feel her little body parts as they poke up at me.  She is most active after lunch and dinner, or when the room is full of talking voices, like in my therapy sessions or in class.  We are still reading her book to her and playing her song every day, although she has stopped responding with activity.  I'm hoping this is a sign that it is more of a calming influence than boring!

The nursery is 95% done, just have to hang bookshelves and the mobile this weekend before we declare it Bun-ready.  Yes, this means that the mural is done (thanks, Mom!), and I will do a post about that process shortly.

For now I am trying to let the reality of the situation I have gotten myself into sink in slowly so as not to succumb to sheer panic all the time.  Audrey had her baby on Tuesday, a little girl named Petra Caroleena, and since I found out I was pregnant the day after she told me she was, this is certainly a wake up call!  This little one will come out!  Soon!  With needs!  Luckily I have the fact that we get to host the holidays this year to distract me.  I just hope I have the energy for my usual holiday fun!

Take what you want and leave the rest

This is very sage advice from a friend that I vented to after my first breastfeeding class this past Saturday.  I will use it as I go through the next five weeks of birthing classes (which start tonight) as well as the more advanced breastfeeding class scheduled for next Monday.  I say this because instead of reassuring me, the basic breastfeeding class left me feeling angry and scared.

It took a lot of processing for me to fully understand why I felt angry and scared, and I think it boils down to this - the reality of just how much work parenting will be.  Not only that, but since I am not supposed to use a bottle with her for the first three weeks, how exhausted I will be handling every. single. feeding.  I know that Jeremy can help with many other useful tasks, and he wants to be as involved as possible, but the idea of not even having one break in the almost 200 feedings in the first three weeks is intimidating.

The lactation consultant who taught the class was also very, VERY pro-breastfeeding, to the point of saying that there shouldn't be any visitors in the hospital that might distract me from feeding cues, never use lanolin (for some reason that wasn't clear), never resort to formula, and giving me a strange look when I said that mothers shouldn't feel guilty if they can't breastfeed for some reason.  She also told us to stick to the super strict pregnancy diet, which excludes sushi, cold lunchmeat, and alcohol (of course on that one, but the other two, sheesh!).

The class also gave me about 8 million more things for me to worry about. I honestly thought that I would be able to breathe out, at least a little bit, when the pregnancy was over and I had her in my arms to make sure she was ok.  Now I have a whole new list of ways that I could hurt my baby, and warning signs that I'm sure I will agonize over for at least the first few weeks.  I know that all the parents reading this will tell me I was silly/naive not to already be in this state, and that I will get my footing once I get to know her, but I will forever associate the onset of sheer parental panic with this class/woman.

I'm hoping that since Jeremy will be with me for the next few classes I will have his steady head to help me keep calm through this process.  Here's hoping I like the teacher of the Birth and Baby class more!

Cute as a Button

OK, guys, it's time for a loooong post about one of the best days of my life!  I already gave you a behind the scenes breakdown of the lead-up and the wind-down, but here are a few (dozen) of my favorite shots of the day, compliments of Julian and Sandi!

First, the woman responsible for it all, my dear sister-in-law, Katie

The overall theme was "Cute as a  Button", seen here in a handmade banner and wreath by Nikki

Sandi made two, yes TWO diaper cakes with the button theme!!

The spread was quite lovely, with button themed sandwiches, mini-pizza, and cookies,                         among other tasty snacks

All of the details were so thoughtful and beautiful!

I especially loved that so many people came to celebrate with us, and some of my favorite shots are just of the group of us talking and enjoying each other's company.  I also like that Sandi and Julian had so much fun photographing everything!

The games, Price is Right Baby Edition and baby trivia, were a big hit and a great excuse for me to get off my feet for a little while.  I'm not too proud to say that I won the Price is Right game :-).

During cake time, the Bun kicked up quite a fuss and my fellow preggo, Lindzy got to feel!

Everyone was also very generous with the gifts that they gave, here are some highlights:

Reversible Gator outfit from Juliana, so glad not to have to dress her as a cheerleader!

Lark was very helpful in passing out gifts and listened intently

Audrey and Lindzy had been gathering meaningful fabric from various family and friends, and this is the start of a very precious quilt!

Anita was thoughtful enough to give us both gift cards to Target, and me a gift card to my favorite yarn store!

Again with the thoughtful handmade gifts, Nikki made us a rug for the nursery

Sandi and Erin each had babies over the summer, but still contributed to the set up and drove hours to be there!

All of the gifts displayed on the co-sleeper handed down from Sandi

Lark helped us open the gifts from her and her parents

At the end I was quite emotional in saying my thanks, silly hormones!

The rest of the pictures were some of my favorite moments from the day, shot beautifully by our friends.

What a beautiful, blessed day it was.  I am one lucky girl to have these people in my life!