Nesting

In general I believe I am a nester.  I was the girl in college that would be unpacked and moved into her dorm room in one day.  I even unpacked in my first apartment in Williamsburg in one day, a day that also included painting three walls.  I can't really feel settled in a place until all of my things are completely out of boxes, so I always spend the first week or so focused solely on the house, down to the minutia of decorations and hanging art.  Around Christmas time, the halls are decked in one afternoon (although this year it was spread over a week since I can neither get the boxes from the attic nor put them back solo).  I am the kind of person who makes the bed every morning and straightens the house every night, just because it feels nice to be in a clean home.  So when I read about what it's like to nest, I thought to myself, "uh-oh, if this is my standard, what will nesting be like for me?!"  Or on the other hand, will I even notice if I start to nest?

Last night, I think I got my first glimpse into nesting.  I have a couple of pregnancy apps on my phone that give me updates on common pregnancy symptoms, average baby sizes at each week, and checklists of things to accomplish by a certain time.  Yesterday, I read that one should have four separate bags packed for the hospital by week 34 (aka last week for me) - a labor bag with all of the things one can use while laboring, a postpartum bag for me after the baby is here and I'm staying in the hospital, a baby bag for her to go home with, and a bag for Jeremy since he will be with me during labor and staying there with us overnight.  A few simultaneous thoughts/panics hit me as I read that I should have these packed.  1) I didn't.  2) I should.  3) I like to be prepared.

Allow me to share the aftermath of these thoughts, stream of consciousness style.

OK, I'll pack my favorite duffel bag for labor stuff, right now because I only need a couple of things, all of which I shouldn't end up needing between now and then.  Oh, shoot, I don't have a bunch of things the books say I need, I should add them to my Amazon list.  Will family be comfortable buying me a sports nursing bra?  Oh well, if they don't at least I have it saved in a place that I can buy it from later.  Should I add tiny things like facial lotion and dry shampoo to my Amazon list, or just get them myself from the drugstore?  Let's say Amazon list because it makes me feel better to be keeping track of the things I need and I won't worry about forgetting them.  Dangit, this list is getting long, maybe I need to start a bigger bag.  It sure would be great to have the larger size duffel in this same Vera Bradley pattern, I wonder if I could add that to my Amazon list since people need gift ideas for me.  Crap, it's a retired pattern.  Ebay? Nope.  Nothing that's big enough.  Ok, I have two pieces in this color pattern, I'll just pare down what I need for labor in the small tote bag and just focus on packing the postpartum bag.  Let me walk to every corner of my house as inefficiently as possible to grab lots of random tiny things I could possibly need, since it's impractical to pack the clothes I would want to wear home as I will likely want to wear them again in the last six weeks of my pregnancy.  Well, maybe I could pack them and always remember that they are in there so that if they are not being worn or washed, they are packed and ready to go.  No, that's silly.  Or maybe not.  Ugh!  Ok, focusing on baby stuff since I know I won't be using that in the next six weeks.  Which bag should I pack?  How about the future diaper bag?  Brilliant!  Oh wait, that's my current work bag.  Can't pack that yet.  But I'm so anxious!  I have to pack something!  I know, I'll pick out her coming home outfit.  Double brilliant!  Oh wait, I only washed the newborn sizes, what if she needs 0-3 because she's too tall/big?  Did I waste money buying newborn stuff?  Should I wash all the 0-3 stuff RIGHT NOW?

You get the idea.

My you-are-a-crazy-nester self awareness moment came when I was literally walking in circles in the bedroom while Jeremy stared at me from the bed.  I took a breath.  I thought about what they said in the birthing class about the time early labor can take.  I thought about the fact that I would be pacing the house impatiently waiting for the right time to go to the hospital, needing something to occupy myself.  I thought about the fact that the hospital is less than a mile from our house, so if I desperately need something Jeremy can very easily pop home to get it. I reminded myself that I have six weeks left.  Then I collapsed in bed.

I know that everything will be ok and I won't be in a situation where I don't have what I need.  I also know that when it comes time to organize her closet (hopefully after I get the closet organizers I want for Christmas!) this will all start again, and it's totally normal.  Better buy a hat and hold onto it, I guess!