Of all the times in life in which you would think I would have enough time to keep a blog, you would think that a global pandemic and the resultant social isolation would be it. Well, it would seem you would be wrong. I have MAJORLY dropped the ball this past year. I have consistently told clients to keep a journal of this time, since it so clearly one for the history books. Seriously, I have thought on multiple occasions about being a grandparent interviewed about living and parenting through the pandemic, and how useful it would be to have a written first hand experience. Never thought I would be a primary source on something, but here we are! So, I am determined to finally write a thorough account of my and my family's experience during this mess. As much as I can anyway. I have also been hit with strong memories as the weather warms with the approach of Spring, which is how it was when this whole mess started. I feel compelled to start writing things down before everything becomes too muddied to be accurate. I am going to divide this entry into chunks based on the overall flow of our year. The various phases seem to roughly align with the seasons, but there is some overlap.
Here we go.
Phase 1 - The First Two Weeks/End of Winter
Ah, the first two weeks. When I was convinced it was just going to be two weeks. March 13th was the last Normal Day. It was Willa's last day of school, which we didn't know until we got the call around 6pm that GCS schools would be closed for the last two weeks of March. I had heard rumblings of this, but didn't make any solid plans as I wasn't sure if it was definitely going to happen. We had gotten an email from the school system about safety precautions for Spring Break, where people that traveled to Italy, South Korea, and Japan would need to isolate for the two weeks after. It made COVID seem very distant, and school up until and after Spring Break a given. But then we got the call from school.
My first reaction was frustration and a bit of panic. What was I going to do with Willa while I went to work? Because of the nature of Jeremy's work and mine, the natural choice was for me to have to cancel my clients to be home with her. My job at NBCC was also a temp position that I was planning to leave at the end of March anyway, so that seemed more flexible as well. So like many other working moms at this time, I stepped back from my job(s) to take care of Willa. It made sense for me to keep Evie home at well, since it would "only be two weeks," and if Willa was at risk, so was Evie. So I notified PGP that Evie would be home as long as school was out. I worked very hard to be optimistic, since I had been regretting how little time I had been spending with Evie related to how much time I spent with Willa at this age. I saw it as a gift! We were overdue to plant our garden, I had some art activities planned, and with everyone in the world dealing with this, there were a lot of celebrities doing online content and special events that we could use to make our days fun. This was going to be a tough couple of weeks, but we could do it!
I came out of the gate guns blazing. I downloaded the ubiquitous COVID schedule to structure our days. We were up, dressed, and outside every day by 9. I bought a whiteboard for Willa to do school at home. I did big lawn projects during one of our twice daily outdoor times. I made literacy projects to keep Evie occupied during Willa's school. With all of Willa's school being recorded, we could make it fit into our schedule. Here was our schedule:
- Up at 7:30.
- Breakfast, brush teeth, out the door for a morning walk by 9.
- Watch recorded school at 10.
- Lunch at 11:30.
- Creative play time until 1:30.
- Naptime for Evie, quiet time for Willa until 3:30.
- Snack time and Mo Willems YouTube show, followed by Scholastic learning activities until 4:30.
- Cook dinner, then eat at 5.
- More play time until bathtime at 7.
The weather was warming up, flowers were blooming, and I found joy in the midst of the confusion by just being in nature. I found interesting, creative things to do every day. We had St/. Patrick's Day, and the whole neighborhood came together to do a Shamrock Hunt. I made a felt leprechaun to hang in the window. I felt so thankful that we had a holiday to focus on to make the time go faster! We had fun, but I was counting down the days until I could get back to normal. (I know, hilarious!)
Phase 2 - Just a Little Longer/Spring
By the end of the second week, word came down that school closure was going to persist until May 14th. I knew there was a chance that school would stay closed until after Spring Break (because why open up the school for just a week and then go on vacation again?) but it seemed interminable that I would have to handle learning for that long (I know!!!). Celebrities stepped back on online content. We ran out of Scholastic learning activities. School started being at scheduled times, including specials, and nothing really fit a pattern I could remember. So we invested in a whiteboard calendar for Willa to organize her days so that we would stop missing specials. Her art teacher quit so that she could stay home with her own kids. Things started feeling Real. I started scheduling virtual clients for naptime so that I could actually work. I officially lost my second job at NBCC. Our days looked like this:
Up at 7:45.
School at 8:45-10
Specials at some point after that, either immediately after class (preferable) or a random time in the afternoon (sometimes impossible to attend because of my work).
Lunch at 11
Playtime or TV time until quiet time at 12:30 (more screen time was sneaking in)
Work until 3:30
Snacks and afternoon outside time
Dinner by 5
TV time until 7 (again with more screens)
Shower and bedtime
I tried not to voice it too much, but I was feeling pretty low. I am an extrovert, so in the absence of a lot of interactions with others, I was suffering. I remember meeting up with a couple of friends for wine on the patio and just thinking to myself "ask me how I'm doing. Cuz I'm doing BAD." I felt like everything I said was wrong or mean or out of place and I was just making people hate me. My anxiety was in full swing without a bevy of positive relational experiences with multiple adults throughout the day. It was a pretty dark time for me emotionally.
Despite all this, I stayed wrapped in the idea that I would get through the worst of it quickly, and actually made dining reservations for our planned Disney trip in October. I needed something concrete to look forward to. I mean, the only times that Disney has had to close was for the tsunami in Japan and for Hurricane Irene a couple of years ago. Of COURSE it would be open in October.
I was so dang optimistic.
Ha.
Phase 3 - Themes/Summer
If you follow me on social media, you will be most familiar with this phase. It made me seem like this amazing, high functioning, handling-this-pandemic-like-a-champ mom.
The key word here being "seem."
It started as Spirit Week at Willa's school. They shared the daily themes for us to do at home, and it gave us something to look forward to every day that week. And if you know me, you know I love a theme. So, why stop at just one week? I honestly wasn't sure how long I wanted to keep it up, I just knew that each day I woke up and wanted to do it. The kids loved it. I loved having something to plan every day. It gave us a new structure and routine, with a themed food, activity, outfits, and show every weekday. I got to online shop for themed shirts and food. It was a delight!
In all, we kept it up from March 23rd until August 28th. That's 23 weeks. Each week was a new theme, with five subcategories. They started simple and became more complex over time, going from colors in the first week and ending with topics like Artists and Forces of Nature. When school was out, they got more complicated to fill the days and keep the kids busy without the benefit of online class. We camped, explored, and did more scavenger hunts than you can imagine. I actually was on top of it enough to take pictures every day. It seems I channeled all of my usual energy into this project. I realized that I worked two jobs, volunteered at church, led Willa's Girl Scout troop, planned multiple events and parties, tried to be involved at Willa's school, and socialized on a semi-regular basis. All that energy had to go somewhere, so boom. Themes.
During this time, my kids grew up like crazy. Willa was losing her teeth on a pretty regular basis, and every new tooth made her look older and more mature. Evie finally potty trained, and with her salty nature, no longer wanted our help AT ALL and was totally independent with that. Willa started showering instead of taking a bath, and became more and more independent. Evie started identifying letters and Willa started reading chapter books on her own. Evie got to be the age where she could participate in Willa's imaginative games, and more importantly, wanted to please her more than anything, so she was willing to be whatever character her sister told her to be. Willa could do school on her own, just needing me to log her in. I was also a distraction to her if I was with her, so I tried to transition away from sitting with her to focus on Evie. I remember one day when I bounced between the two of them, Willa in our dining room and Evie in the living room, trying to balance staying with Willa for a short time to help her without pulling her attention from her teacher too much, and helping Evie with a puzzle and helping her deal with her frustration. Watching me would have been like attending a tennis match. Exhausting.
Evie caught onto the fact that Willa didn't have to sleep during the day and wanted to be with her, so they started doing quiet time together. They played in Willa's room (or used her tablet) for the three hours in the middle of the day when I would be with clients. At first, I would leave them picnic baskets of snacks to make it that long, but by the Fall, it had become the new normal to be there for that long, and snacks waited until after quiet time was over. This time has helped to facilitate their super close relationship, and I am SO thankful for it. I truly would not have been able to hold a job if not for their ability to do this every day.
Willa finished Kindergarten. I was grieving the fact that she didn't get to finish the year with her beloved teacher, but I still believed she would be able to start First Grade in person, and we would just need to get through the summer.
We adopted a puppy, which I had been reluctant to do before this because I didn't want it to get used to us being at home all day, only to leave them crated all day when we went back to work and school full time. With the time at home becoming indefinite, I gave in and we applied for a puppy I thought it would be a long shot to get. Well, apparently my application caught the attention of the foster mom and she chose us for "Luna." A scrappy runt that refused to believe she was too small to jump on her giant oldest brother. When we went to meet her, all the other puppies ran away, but she hung out to meet us. Sold. We took her home right away, I ran to PetSmart to buy everything we needed (it all went so fast, and like I said, I was sure there were too many applicants for us to stand out!) and everyone debated names. In the end, we named her Daisy, for the flowers that we planted the first week of the pandemic that happened to bloom the day we brought her home. She added another layer of structure to our day and kept us getting outside at least once a day (our morning outside time slipped away with recorded school and never quite came back). Overall, our summer schedule became:
Up at 7:45.
Breakfast and cartoons until 9ish.
Pick a themed outfit from the closet or open new clothes on theme
Morning theme activity until lunch at 11-11:30
Themed lunch, unless dinner had the themed food.
Quiet time/work time for me until 3:30
Themed snack/movie until dinner
Themed dinner, if lunch was not
TV time until shower at 7
Bath/shower time until bedtime.
My memories of this time are full of color, warmth, and being extremely focused on the kids. Fall Disney plans were cancelled. It was clear this was going to go for longer than we could ever predict. I sunk into a new normal, investing more time into my kids and slipping away from work. If I was now a stay at home mom, I would be amazing at it.
Something else I did at this time was finally get back into running. At the patio meetup in Phase Two, one of my friends talked about running consistently, and I remembered being so proud when I was a runner before Willa was born. I was pretty ashamed with how out of shape I had become, and decided to try a Couch to 5K again, now that the weather was warm and it stayed light after dinner. I was able to run while the kids did evening TV time with Jeremy, and I was able to run a 5K on July 31. I was so proud! I even kept up my runs a couple of times a week, and ran 5 miles at my longest stretch. I looked so forward to early Friday morning runs with a dear friend who inspired me and kept me motivated, and I felt so accomplished to get the run in before my kids were even awake for the day. My mood shifted and I hit a new gear.
Right after my runs on Friday morning, Disney would air new episodes of a delightful show called Bluey. If you haven't seen it, you should. Even if you don't have kids. It's just that awesome. Its about a family with two girls, 6 and 4, and most of their adventures take place at home. They have incredible imaginative play and the parents will play with them, but have their limits. Unlike Mom and Dad Tiger, who seem to have endless energy and never EVER say no to participating in an imagination game, Chilli and Bandit will straight up say "we can play as long as I don't have to move or say anything or do anything" or "I wish I could, but I have to work." My kind of parents. With the incredible amount of time I spend with the kids now, along with my work from home obligations, it was so helpful to have something to reference when I had to decline to follow Willa's lead in a game for a while. It gave the girls a few templates for their independent play and freed me up to do housework and paid work. Also, its hilarious. Seriously, check it out.
Things were going pretty well, but I could feel Fall and Winter coming with a sense of foreboding.
