Last Tuesday started our five week course of Birth and Baby classes through the hospital where I will deliver. I had a little bit of apprehension about going after my negative experience with the breastfeeding class, but I decided to be hopeful since 1) Jeremy would be going with me and 2) my boss is in a Bible study group with the teacher, and she said that she's a lovely person, so I wouldn't need to worry. So, I grabbed our pillows, dressed in clothes that were both comfy and appropriate for work (since I would have to take off immediately after work to make it on time), and hoped for the best.
I am happy to say that things went well! The teacher was very nice and informative, and didn't scare me with anything she had to say. Actually, I felt a little like the nerdy couple since we already knew a lot of the information that she had to share and answered questions that she asked about 60% of the time. (But seriously, who doesn't know that we dilate to 10 cm, or that labor can take many, many hours?!) Thanks to one episode of the Office, I even knew that you shouldn't go to the hospital right away, only once the contractions are 4-5 minutes apart, and that water breaking doesn't have to be a dramatic gush. Thanks to my mom friends, I also knew that they won't often accept you into Labor and Delivery until you are 5 cm dilated (especially on busy nights) and that they are super strict with security at our particular hospital. Overall, because I wasn't learning too much new stuff, I left the class feeling confident instead of angry and scared.
Something else worth noting, I'm not as scared of labor and delivery as I am of parenting in the first month or so. My mom and her friends have scoffed at this, but I think it's valid. Labor and delivery, regardless of how painful/scary in the moment/surgically involved has a beginning time and an end time. I will most likely be in the hospital, surrounded by staff and machines who see this sort of thing every day (barring some crazy we-delivered-on-the-way thing, but since we live less than a mile from the hospital, that's highly doubtful, ::knockonwood::). Even if I forget everything I learn in birthing class, at some point she will come out of me. If things aren't working out, they will go in and get her. And then it will be over and I won't have to worry about delivering her ever again.
But parenting in that first month? I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Transitions are always tricky, and this will be the biggest one of my life, now and forevermore. Everything I know about life will change. Forever. And there is no point where this will be over and I can go back to things the way they were. And I won't have professionals around me at all times in case things go wrong, it's all Jeremy and I. Yes, I can have help here and there, but most of the time it'll be just us. Trying like crazy to keep her alive and well and developing normally. I know we'll be able to do it, but it'll be a lot of work and a lot of intimidating changes to make. I know it'll all be worth it, but boy, does it scare me way more than labor!!
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