This is very sage advice from a friend that I vented to after my first breastfeeding class this past Saturday. I will use it as I go through the next five weeks of birthing classes (which start tonight) as well as the more advanced breastfeeding class scheduled for next Monday. I say this because instead of reassuring me, the basic breastfeeding class left me feeling angry and scared.
It took a lot of processing for me to fully understand why I felt angry and scared, and I think it boils down to this - the reality of just how much work parenting will be. Not only that, but since I am not supposed to use a bottle with her for the first three weeks, how exhausted I will be handling every. single. feeding. I know that Jeremy can help with many other useful tasks, and he wants to be as involved as possible, but the idea of not even having one break in the almost 200 feedings in the first three weeks is intimidating.
The lactation consultant who taught the class was also very, VERY pro-breastfeeding, to the point of saying that there shouldn't be any visitors in the hospital that might distract me from feeding cues, never use lanolin (for some reason that wasn't clear), never resort to formula, and giving me a strange look when I said that mothers shouldn't feel guilty if they can't breastfeed for some reason. She also told us to stick to the super strict pregnancy diet, which excludes sushi, cold lunchmeat, and alcohol (of course on that one, but the other two, sheesh!).
The class also gave me about 8 million more things for me to worry about. I honestly thought that I would be able to breathe out, at least a little bit, when the pregnancy was over and I had her in my arms to make sure she was ok. Now I have a whole new list of ways that I could hurt my baby, and warning signs that I'm sure I will agonize over for at least the first few weeks. I know that all the parents reading this will tell me I was silly/naive not to already be in this state, and that I will get my footing once I get to know her, but I will forever associate the onset of sheer parental panic with this class/woman.
I'm hoping that since Jeremy will be with me for the next few classes I will have his steady head to help me keep calm through this process. Here's hoping I like the teacher of the Birth and Baby class more!
Lark was fed formula on night 2 after the nurse put her in the nursery. And when Katie traveled, we simply had some occasions when I didn't have enough pumped milk in the fridge. So formula it was. And as you know, Lark was a milk monster. And she was fine for it. This business about formula = mom is not dedicated to nursing is ridiculous. You'll do great.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. We will talk over Thanksgiving. People who take such a hard line on any parenting technique do themselves such a disservice in promoting their cause, and I think they're oblivious to it. Others will be there to give you much more reality-based ideas.
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